Verity James Scheel

At the beginning of 2021, I was listening to a math talk, and near the end, the last name of one of the collaborators was mentioned – Verity. Of course, I had known Verity could be a name before, in this kind of vague way in which we assimilate social and linguistic information without really making it a part of our daily lives, and so what we know remains beyond our abilities to consciously recall yet lurks in our perception of the world. Like, I donʼt think Iʼd ever met someone named Verity, especially not as a first name, and yet I recognize it as a lightly feminine name – thatʼs just one of the reasons it appeals to me. But on this specific occasion, heard it triggered the realization in me that not only could it be a name – a first name, even – it could be my first name.

I sat there processing this for a while … I started sobbing at the enormity of my realization. Finally, I had chanced upon a new name to call mine. This moment sat heavy with me for several days, but soon I found a new freedom in the knowledge and the choosing of my new name. Here I am, Verity James Scheel.

I told very few people at first, gradually a few more, and I waited until the semester was over to announce it to most of my friends I was out to. But it has been a great catalyst for the rest of my coming out, my currently still-aspirational work of being known publicly as Verity. Some trans & non-binary people feel like they need to start hormones before they feel confident in their coming out (certainly nothing wrong with that! I empathize a great deal) – but for me, at least, itʼs simply my new name … knowing that I feel confident in it, that this is how I want to be known. It feels like having this signal of “oh, this is what changed, theyʼll be known as Verity now” may help ease othersʼ perception of the situation – or at least it reassures my perception of their perception of my coming out. You see, Iʼm very nervous about it. I wish it wasnʼt so difficult, but in this world we live in, even with my privileges, it is a lot of work to navigate. Love to all my trans friends, whereeeeever you may be on your own journeys.

Anyways, itʼs not just that I want to be known as Verity, to be acknowledged as a (trans) woman. I feel my coming out will be in vain if it doesnʼt let me be open about being autistic, too. Not only are these the two most important parts of my identity I have had to keep hidden for years, but in the battlegrounds of my mind and body, youʼll find it hard to spot a location thatʼs touched by one and not the other – autism and transness are different, to be sure, yet they are still inextricable.

You can see this reflected in my name too! Or at least in my reasons for choosing it. You see, it really appeals to me that it comes from a Latin origin: veritas, meaning truth. Latin and logic – two of my special interests incorporated right there. And as I mentioned above, it feels lightly femme to me and brings to mind the colors of lilac and lavender, completing the scene for me.

One back story on why I particularly love that it comes from veritas in Latin: In my early years of high school, before I really knew I was trans or had any exposure to trans people at all, I nevertheless identified with women and yes, the feminine gender as I fell headfirst into an obsession with Latin. I found it particularly fun that a lot of abstract nouns in Latin are feminine, particularly the ones that end in -tio (English -tion) and -itas (-ity) (like veritas). There you go, I have become my favorite type of noun!

Verity – itʼs who I am, and thatʼs just the Truth!

This is an older nickname for myself. I created it when I joined the PureScript community in 2017. My old nickname was starting to get embarrassing, especially once I left the only community that understood the reference I was making! So, very fresh faced in the world of functional programming and the mathematical theory implicated therein, I had a choice between two nice alliterative words to smash with Musician: either Monad or Monoid.

Iʼm really glad I went with Monoid. First of all, itʼs a fun word to say. Monad just feels flat-footed and stale, but Monoid has much more life to it – like water. Second, the mathematical concept is more approachable and actually more interesting to me: Monoids appear everywhere, and capture interesting patterns! (With the caveat that “…, a monoid is a category, a category is a monad, a monad is a monoid, …”.) Plus, monoids seem to be what you would use if you want to analyze music theory from a mathematical perspective.

But yeah, this moniker is what I use for my programming accounts online, and I think it captures my interests, my gentleness, and is fun to say.

This is my newest nickname I just came up with over the summer. Itʼs a pun on the formal name for cello: properly itʼs called the violoncello in Italian, so I just inserted my last name to call myself the ViolonScheelist. (I prefer pronouncing each part authentically, “violon” as in Italian and “Scheel” as in German and “ist” as in, well however you like, but maybe English.)

Speaking of “violoncello”, it actually has a funny history as a double compound in opposite directions: it starts as “viola”, then the augmentative suffix “-one” gets added, denoting a large viola, the violone. Then “-cello” also goes along for the ride, but this is a diminutive suffix: a violoncello is a small violone, a small large viola!

I backported this into Latin: “viola” comes from “vitula, vitulae”. The next step was a little tricky: diminutives are well known in Latin, but augmentative suffixes seem much rarer. So I just borrowed the Italian construction, and formed “*vitulo, vitulonis”. Then the dimunitive is formed by adding “-culus” with a slight change to the stem (-on > -un-), producing “*vituluncula, vitulunculae”. (Latinitas Recens suggests “violina ampla, violinae amplae”, but thatʼs much less fun, donʼt you agree??)